Job Loss & Marriage

Unemployment or being in job transition can add stress to anyone's life. When you are in a relationship, the stress and challenges are multiplied. Each partner has his or her own issues.

The Marital Relationship and The Job Seeker

Self-esteem may be affected. Even though we may be in hard economic times, the people "let go" often wonder why they weren't important enough to be kept on. Most of us also base our identity on our profession. When we meet someone, the first question asked is, "What do you do?" It can be painful or embarrassing to admit to being unemployed.

Stress level is usually increased as the job seeker struggles to reassess career options. For people who have been employed with the same company for a long time, it can also be difficult to develop the resume and interviewing skills necessary to compete.

Finances are most definitely an issue and lifestyle changes may become necessary.

Time management is often a challenge, especially for someone who is used to working an 8-5 job.

Family relationships are usually impacted. We take our frustrations out on the people who are closest to us. It is easier to be grumpy and grouchy with a partner or kids.

The Partner or Spouse of the Job Seeker

Lack of control is one of the biggest complaints of those married to, or with, the unemployed. You have no control over how your partner does his or her job search. Your encouragement and suggestions are often unwelcome. Yet, you are affected by the lack of job and lack of income.

Dealing with an anxious or depressed partner isn't fun. It is hard to depend on support from a suffering spouse. Normal, everyday stressors are still present though. You might feel alone or lonely with an unavailable partner.

Marital relations suffer. Most people are not at their best when they are stressed. Intimacy and sexual relations are impacted. It's normal for one or both of you to experience desire at a low point.

Responsibilities are still there. Even though your spouse is at home and supposed to be looking for a job, couples seem to maintain their previous division of labor. You may find yourself getting frustrated and angry with a partner who appears to be doing nothing, or treating unemployment as a vacation, while you maintain your usual set of responsibilities.

Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy can help!

I work with couples who have many of your same struggles. Together we find a way through the anxiety, frustration, and anger to help you get back to being a team. Going to marriage counseling does not mean your marriage is in danger or you are headed for divorce. Look at it as you would any preventative maintenance.

Contact me today. I can help you through this hard time. You and your spouse do not have to suffer or risk your marriage or relationship.

Karen Rowinsky, LSCSW, offers one-on-one counseling, marriage counseling and couples therapy, family therapy, and relationship coaching. Her Overland Park, Kansas office services clients from the Overland Park, Leawood, Lenexa, Olathe, and Kansas City, MO areas.