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Self Care Tips

Forgiveness is a Gift

Karen Rowinsky - Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Do you hold grudges?
Try unsuccessfully to "forgive and forget?"
Feel if you forgive you are dishonoring a transgression?

Forgiveness is a tough subject for most of us. Not forgiving someone often is a greater burden to us than them. Yet most of us have a problem in letting things go.

Something that has helped me is an idea from Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book, Women Who Run with the Wolves. Estes suggests that forgiveness rarely comes at the 100 percent level. She believes that if we can muster up 50 percent forgiveness that we are doing very well. Once we begin forgiving even a small percent, we seem to be able to increase our forgiving as time goes by.

My friend, Harriet Lerner, has a new book coming out in January entitled, Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. I can't wait to read it and enjoy more insight into forgiveness. You can pre-order it at

Self care is about relieving yourself of burdens. If you know you are holding a grudge, try releasing some of that negative energy percentage point by percentage point.
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