A friend of mine, Debra Kunz, wrote a great book. Love is Blind Only if You Are, is a much-needed resource for single women about dating. In it she talks about the concept of "Living by Default" versus "Living Deliberately." I believe it is applicable not only in the dating arena, but to life in general.
How do you live?
Living by Default
- You tend to run on auto-pilot, going in the same direction and doing the same things you've always done before. Maybe complaining how things never change though never choosing to change things.
- You let other people define what you want in your life.
- You bulldoze forward and focus on how you'll get something without regard for why you want it.
Living Deliberately
- You've defined some priorities, desires, and what's important to you.
- Whether you like change or not, you recognize its part of life and can adapt when necessary.
- You take time to reflect on the outcomes of the decisions you've made in the interest of learning something useful.
- You are aware of the factors and emotions impacting your choices.
- You consider why you want something and how it helps you create what you want in your life.
After reading the above, do you agree with me that living deliberately is definitely an act of self care? How would your life look if you lived more deliberately? Want to find out?
Recommended Resource
Are You Single? Do You Know a Woman Who Is?
Check out Debra's book, Love is Blind: A Woman's Clear-Headed Guide to Deliberate Dating. It's a "must read" for every dating woman. Kunz' straightforward advice is the stuff your mother never told you and we should all be telling our daughters!
