When this old world starts getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I'll climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space...
The lyrics from the Gerry Goffin and Carole King song Up On the Roof sound like the perfect solution for life's everyday frustrations. Unfortunately, we often don't have a roof available when we need it.
I'm talking about "everyday frustrations" not about the big things in life like a natural disasters, family crisis, job loss, or health issues but the day-to-day little things that bug us, get on our nerves, or make us crazy. In the scheme of things they appear small but when they turn an otherwise good day into a downer, they effect our life in a negative way. 
When you don't have a roof handy, you may want to go to a place I call The Patience Zone. You can get there in a variety of different ways depending upon the intensity of the situation.
Here are some ways you can get into there:
- Breathe - The old adage about taking a deep breath really works! Breathe in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. Concentrate on doing it slowly and evenly, taking in refreshing, relaxing air and letting out tension and frustrations with each exhale. Conscious breathing is relaxing and healthy. When you are paying attention to your breathing you are not focusing on what is bugging you.
- It Could Be Worse - Tell yourself it could be worse and then come up with ways it could. Keep your thoughts on the funny side. If you're stuck in traffic by yourself, it could be worse if someone you don't like were in the car with you or if you had a backseat full of cranky kids. Note: The funnier the "it could be worse" scenario the better.
- Music - You may not be in a position to listen to a CD or turn on the radio but you can have a selection of songs in your head that you can start playing when you need to enter the zone. The songs should be upbeat with words that you know. Or, if you are really going nuts, belt out a few choruses of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
- Your Own Patience Meter - Imagine a meter, a thermometer, or a gauge. Assign one end to be your "totally tense" place and the other your Patience Zone. Picture the needle or mercury moving from tense to patient and use all your strength to keep it in the zone you want to be.
- Your Comfort Place - Imagine a place that you love. It could be outside or inside. Use that vision to move into and stay in the zone. Be sure to use all your senses; smell, sight, hearing, touch, even taste to make the picture more real. Dealing with a grumpy co-worker? Imagine lying on the beach. Waiting on hold? Imagine a walk in a beautiful meadow. You can be creative and visit many places or keep going back to the one that works.
The best part of being in your Patience Zone is that the more you get yourself there, the easier it is to go. Sometimes, you just have to think "zone" and you will relax. You will feel your muscles releasing and your mood lighten. Practice helps and fortunately, or unfortunately, most of us have plenty of opportunities to practice the self care of getting to and remaining in our Patience Zone.
